the invisible orientation an introduction to asexuality

I read this as a sort of “check your internalised bullshit” type thing – since, well, as a romance writer I write about sex a fair bit, and I want my books to be sex-positive in the broadest sense of the word, which includes not taking for granted or otherwise reinforced allosexual worldviews as some kind of exclusionary default. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones.

In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as 'asexual.' Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. But that's where asexual people are left out-they don't find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that's okay. Most people believe that 'everyone' wants sex, that 'everyone' understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that 'everyone' wants to date and mate. They aren't sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation-like gay, straight, or bisexual.Īsexuality is the invisible orientation. What if you weren't sexually attracted to anyone?Ī growing number of people are identifying as asexual.

The invisible orientation an introduction to asexuality